How Ambitious People Can Be Happier
Sydney-based Yu Dan Shi (pictured below) is a coach, mentor and speaker, helping other professionals live an inspired life. She’s also the author of the book Come Alive – Live a Life with More Meaning and Joy. In this guest post, she argues all that hard work might make you a high achiever, but it doesn’t necessarily make you a high performer…
How many of us think, “If I can achieve this, I will be happier,” yet constantly feel unfulfilled? It’s a trap so many of us fall into. We believe happiness is just around the corner, and if only we work just a bit harder, for just a bit longer, we will finally be able to reach it.
The trouble is, it rarely happens. How many of us have been full of ambition and finally arrived at our hard-fought destination, only to realise what it promised us was a mirage? Our years of hard work have not given us the happiness and contentment we’d hoped for.
To travel so far and realise this can be deeply disappointing. Dr Tony Grant, a coaching psychologist at the University of Sydney, calls this a “hollow victory”. Why is this happening?
Through years of research and working with successful high achievers, I have discovered that a lot of our unhappiness is the result of our long-term behaviours and habits. These habits often brought us success early in life but derailed our happiness as we pursued even greater success.
These detrimental habits include:
- Working tirelessly at the expense of sleep, relationships, our wellbeing and life balance.
- Saying “yes” to everything to show how committed we are.
- Pushing ourselves into the ground to manage an ever-expanding workload.
- Prioritising other people’s goals over our own.
Typically, organisations and society reward these behaviours. We quickly discover they get us ahead in our careers, so we keep doing them, even when they don’t make us happy. When these behaviours become a daily habit, they inevitably wear us down, no matter how successful we are.
What underpins this pattern is the fact we don’t know how to achieve success in a healthy way. Most of us have only been taught how to work harder and longer to achieve success, not how to work better.
In my corporate career of 20-plus years, I witnessed the negative outcomes of a workaholic culture every day. The high achievers were the ones who suffered most. They would pull all-nighters and turn up to work the next day. They would routinely start a second shift after putting their children to bed. They would travel across time zones, severely jet-lagged yet able to sit through back-to-back meetings with no rest.
They were proud of their discipline and toughness. Yet privately, these high achievers were falling apart, desperately wanting a break. I know, because I was one of them.
In 2008, I suffered a severe burnout in my first executive job as a CMO for a global tech company. For years, the motto I followed was “no pain, no gain”. The result was that I was so burnt out, it took an emergency operation to force me to look at the way I worked and lived differently. My doctor explicitly told me that my life-threatening illness was the result of unhealthy working habits and stress.
There is a limit to how much and how hard we can work. We cannot sustain a state of never-ending struggle. Eventually, people break. Like a fuel tank, our willpower and energy need to be topped up or they will run out.
In other words, many of us are high achievers but not necessarily high performers.
When we learn to achieve in an optimal way, we sustain our success for longer and we become much happier.
By the time clients come to see me in my coaching practice, they are often contemplating leaving their jobs or quitting their careers altogether. However, only 20 per cent of these clients need to make an external change. The majority can improve their situations dramatically simply by learning better working habits.
With the right tools and techniques, high achievers learn how to motivate themselves naturally without shouting “come on, you can do it”. They understand how to perform at their peak and restore their energy daily. And they learn how to re-design their work and daily agenda to get the best out of themselves.
By refining their working habits, high achievers see tremendous results within a short period of time. They take back control, feel energised and driven. They significantly cut back their working hours. They not only start to perform better at work, but they also feel much happier overall. They sleep soundly at night. Their relationships with their families improve as their psychological wellbeing recovers. For many, they also finally have the time to re-connect with their passion projects, bringing joy back into their lives.
You don’t need to stop achieving. But learning how to achieve optimally makes the journey so much more enjoyable. We all want to succeed. But we don’t have to sacrifice our happiness and wellbeing in the process. We can succeed in a healthier way – that’s the real success
Please login with linkedin to comment
Yu Dan ShiLatest News
Kantar: AVOD Subscribers Double In 12 Months
Study finds Aussies happy to watch ads on their streaming services. Or, are they just putting the kettle on more often?
Val Morgan Digital Exceeds All Campaign Uplift Benchmarks Via A 12-Month Brand Metrics Study
Val Morgan announces it has exceeded all its campaign benchmarks. Still can't get under an hour for the City To Surf.
Australian Retirement Trust launches monster of a campaign, by M&C Saatchi and Bohemia
Get offered a seat on the bus today? Knees creak like an old pirate's galleon? This retirement ad may be of interest.
Print Audits To Discontinue As Audited Media Association Of Australia Pivots To Support Influencer Marketing
Is it just B&T or are audits in the media industry suddenly becoming murkier than Roxy's husband's tax returns?
News Corp Australia Launches 2024 National Education Advocacy Initiative With Expanded Program
News Corp set to shine a light on the nation's schools in new series, giving illegal bikie gangs a well-earned rest.
Decoding The Consumer Maze: Urban List Report Reveals How Modern Shoppers Spiral From Discovery To Purchase
Latest report unravels a shopper's journey from the joy of discovery through to a nasty letter from a debt collector.
Cosmo Returns To Australia!
Ever get the feeling we've weirdly warped back to 1988 at the moment? Confirm it with the relaunch of Cosmo in print.
People & Culture Consultancy Human Kind Collective Launches To Plug HR Gap For Media Agencies
Does the very mention of HR have you struggling to remember last year's Christmas party? Get the sweats with this news.
‘We Want To Be A Growth Partner, Not Just A Media Buyer Or Someone That Makes Ads’ – Bohemia Boss On Agency’s Ambition
B&T's chatting with Bohemia boss Paul ‘Hutch’ Hutchison. Although we do think 'the dagger' a far superior nickname.
Initiative’s Geoff Clarke: ‘Youth Hits Targets With Enthusiasm, Experience Hits The Targets You Can’t See’
Initiative’s CCO Geoff Clarke on the value of experience in agencies. Not to mention quoting lines from Pulp Fiction.
The Iconic Teams Up With 5 Aussie Athletes For Latest Campaign
Fashion label brings in the athletes for new campaign, many of whom appear to have prepped with re-runs of Zoolander.
Seven West Media Secures New Director Of News & Current Affairs
After a tumultuous few weeks, Seven unveils director of news & current affairs. And B&T never uses tumultuous lightly.
Seven Network Expands NSW Sales Team With Two New Group Business Directors
Seven ramps up its NSW sales team. Both of whom are well versed in pronouncing Manu Feildel's croque-monsieur.
New PR Subscription Changing The Game For Aussie Start Ups
Need better PR? You can now buy it via a monthly subscription. Price does not include a fascinator or Moet piccolos.
Paul Kent At Centre Of Fresh Scandal After Alleged Street Brawl
Do you long for the fights, gouges & testicle grabs of footy's glory years? So too, it appears, does Paul Kent.
DiDi Taps Disney’s Tim Farmer For Head Of Brand Marketing Role
Disney's Tim Farmer shifts over to rideshare company DiDi. Taking with him his Donald Duck coffee mug & mouse ears.
As Sure As Night Becomes Day, The End Of Third-Party Cookies Has Been Delayed
The question remains: what will we see first? The end of cookies, alien invasion or Jesus's second coming?
Fast 10: Scoundrel’s Tim Bullock Explains What Shane Warne & Salt-N-Pepa Have In Common
It's a Fast 10 with Scoundrel's Tim Bullock. Make it sound even faster by sucking on helium while reading it.
Outbrain Snatches Chris Oxley From Foxtel Media
Foxtel's Chris Oxley shifts over to Outbrain, but not before having his press photo taken in the wilds of the Daintree.
oOh!media & POLY Partner With Greening Australia For OOH Awareness Campaign
Like to quell the road rage with super cute pics of fluffy marsupials? This outdoor's just the ticket.
Are Media Cares For The Carers In Its Latest Social Change Campaign
Are Media calls on the government to add super payments to carers' payments. Remains silent on AUKUS, however.
In A Fragmented World, Engagement Is King
Today, B&T TV's talking fragmentation & engagement. But not in a down-on-one-knee sense of the word.
Kyle Sandilands On Advertising: “We Want Return Business. It’s No Good Just Taking Someone’s Money”
Kyle & Jackie O finally arrive on Melbourne radio. As yet, no sign of the monotonous and bitter AFL-NRL debate.
Sydney Comedy Festival: Taking The City & Social Media By Storm
Sydney Comedy Festival 2024 is live and ready to rumble, showing the best of international and homegrown talent at a host of venues around town. As usual, it’s hot on the heels of its big sister, the giant that is the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, picking up some acts as they continue on their own […]
Global Marketers Descend For AANA’s RESET For Growth
The Australian Association of National Advertisers (AANA) has announced the final epic lineup of local and global marketing powerhouses for RESET for Growth 2024. Lead image: Josh Faulks, chief executive officer, AANA Back in 2000, a woman with no business experience opened her first juice bar in Adelaide. The idea was brilliantly simple: make healthy […]
Is Meta’s New AI Chatbot Too Left-Wing?
Meta's chatbot accused of being left-wing after being caught wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt & listening to Billy Bragg.
TV Ratings (23/04/2024): Why Did No One Tell Angela That Farmer Wants A Wife Is Set On A Farm?
As wonderful as this headline is, let's face it, we all know an 'Angela', don't we?
PubMatic Unveils New AI Partnership To Turn Social Posts Into Ads For Any Digital Channel
Here's some nifty tech for turning social posts into ads. Assuming said posts aren't one-star character assassinations.
Intuit Mailchimp Makes A Splash With Its First Australian Brand Campaign
Ever laugh along at a gag you didn't get so as not to appear dumb? Get ready for more feigning with this new work.
GumGum’s Rob Hall: Advertisers Can No Longer “Rely On Binary Descriptions” Of Consumers
If anyone's got their finger on adtech's pulse, it's Rob Hall. He also avoids using the good paper in the office printer
Mastercard Nabs Florencia Aimo From Marriott International
Marriott International's Florencia Aimo jumps from the hotel business to the exploitative credit card one.
Bastion Agency Appoints Cheuk Chiang As New ANZ CEO
Cheuk Chiang takes the reins over at Bastion Agency. But not the rains down in Africa.
Spotlight On Sponsors: Major Sponsorship Wins After A Disappointing Week In Sport
B&T continuing our deep dive into local sport sponsorships & that's despite not a single offer of a free ticket as yet.
Macca’s Marketing Director, Samantha McLeod On Big Mac Chant: “What Was Once Old Is Now Cool Again”
Macca's using the power of nostalgia in latest Big Mac campaign. Well, only for those who've ever eaten one sober.
World Premiere Of Midnight Oil: The Hardest Line To Open Sydney Film Festival 2024
Oil's biopic to open Sydney Film Festival. Here's hoping Molly Meldrum will take his pants down at the premiere.
Entries Are Now Open For The 2024 Brandies, IntelligenceBank’s Annual Brand Marketing Awards
The Brandies are, of course, a prestigious marketing gong and not the mystery tipple favoured by nannas everywhere.