“CRYBABIES!” British & Aussie Mastheads Go The Jugular Over Ashes Furore, As Respective PMs Weigh In

Forget the benign Marmite’s-better-than-Vegemite campaigns of pervious Ashes, this year’s series is bordering on all out war between the two countries after Australia’s controversial win in the second Test at the Oval on Sunday night.
For those living under a rock, English batsmen Johnny Bairstow strayed out of his crease in the cliffhanger match only to have his stumps thrown down by Aussie keeper Alex Carey. Most agreed Bairstow was out, however argued that the Australians’ actions weren’t in the spirit of the game.
The war is now being fuelled by each nation’s newspapers – the UK tabloids suggesting the Aussies are nothing but a pack of cheats, while the Aussie papers returning fire, painting the Poms as a bunch of whingers and sore losers.
The Kerry Stokes-owned The West Australian has caused particular ire back in Old Blighty after it featured England skipper Ben Stokes in a nappy and with a dummy alongside the headline “CRYBABIES”.
Stokes has since responded to the front page on Twitter. “That’s definitely not me,” he joked in response. “Since when did I bowl with the new ball?”
News Corp’s tabloids were also quick to praise the Aussie’s win that sees them take a 2-0 lead with a further three games to play.
Yesterday’s Melbourne’s Herald Sun front page screamed “BAZBAWL”, a play on the baz ball style of play and bawling Englishmen.
Sydney’s The Daily Telegraph was hardly understated either. “Our message to the hypocritical, sanctimonious, whinging Poms,” The Terror’s front page declared, “who can’t accept that were beaten fair and square… WE’RE 2-UP, BABY!”
The Australian’s cartoon today
Over in the UK, the British line of reporting was that the Aussies had cheated to win and ruined the gentlemanly spirit of the game.
Writing in UK’s The Telegraph, cricket scribe Oliver Brown was scathing of the Aussies.
Brown criticised captain Cummins’ side for allegedly killing “decorum”, as well as “codes of honour and mateship”.
The stumping was labelled as “dastardly” and “beyond the pale”, while he said that Australia’s makeover since Sandpapergate (when the team was busted rubbing sandpaper on the ball in 2019) had now lost all credibility.
Here’s some of the UK paper’s reporting:
In a delicious irony, footage of Johnny Bairstow trying the exact same stumping attempt on Aussie batsman Marnus Labuschagne has also resurfaced.
Thought we had seen this before. Jonny Bairstow attempting to catch Marnus Labuschagne stepping out of his crease two days ago. #Ashes @wwos @9NewsAUS pic.twitter.com/U28fEvlEu8
— Sam Djodan (@samdjodan) July 2, 2023
As journalist Nick Bryant noted in a column in Nine’s newspapers today: “Had England’s wicketkeeper – one Jonny Bairstow – pulled off the same stumping against, say, David Warner or Steve Smith, the grandstands at Lord’s would have erupted.”
The furore has also bubbled up to the top offices in the land. UK’s prime minister Rishi Sunak weighed in on events, his official spokesman told reporters yesterday: “The Prime Minister agrees with (England captain) Ben Stokes. He said he simply wouldn’t want to win a game in the manner Australia did.”
And even Albo’s had a crack too. The prime minister mocked the English chant of “Same old Aussies, always cheating,” by tweeting “Same old Aussies – always winning.”
I’m proud of our men’s and women’s cricket teams, who have both won their opening two #Ashes matches against England.
Same old Aussies – always winning!
Australia is right behind @ahealy77, @patcummins30 and their teams and look forward to welcoming them home victorious 👏
— Anthony Albanese (@AlboMP) July 3, 2023
Sunak’s response provoked a a response from Australia’s former foreign minister, Alexander Downer, who is working in the UK advising the British government on immigration matters.
Downer told British tabloid The Sun: “It’s a bit undignified to go around complaining that the team that defeated you cheated when the team doesn’t make the decision, the umpire did – and it was consistent, as everybody has pointed out, with the rules of cricket.
“The trouble is, it makes England look like bad sports, bad losers,” Downer said.
Latest News

Sunday TV Ratings: Tommy Little Makes X-Rated Joke On The Hundred With Andy Lee Christmas Special
If there was ever a time to give up on life & revert solely to the couch, it has to be the coming six weeks of summer.

The Clock Is Ticking On Cannes In Cairns Super Early Bird Tickets
As we know, the early bird gets the worm. That said, had the worm stayed in bed, he wouldn't have become breakfast.

B&T’s Campaign Of The Month November 2023 – Innocean’s Powerful White Ribbon Work
The B&T brains trust has got together to award November's ad of the month. And trust us, there ain't a heap of brains.

X Adds 10 Million Users In A Week & Reinstates Conspiracy Theorist Account
In possibly further confirmation that there's no such thing as bad press comes news of Twitter's audience booty.

Samsonite Proves Its “Seriously Tough” In New Campaign From TRP
Why does B&T feel that Schapelle Corby would be the perfect brand ambassador for Samsonite travel luggage.

Industry Endorses New Nielsen Solution To Total TV & Cross-Platform Measurement Delivery
Are TV numbers your thing? Then mark this a must-read. However, B&T's not excluding radio or outdoor people either.

“Not Often I See One Of These In The Wild” – Adam Ferrier Praises Amazon’s Christmassy OOH
Here's a fun bus stop activation from the guys at Amazon. B&T can confirm that Jeff didn't catch said bus.

Greenpeace Mauls Unilever’s Dove Over Terrifying Use Of Plastics
Global soap brand asked to clean up its act. Yes, that's about the best play on words you're going to get today.

Reports: Police DID Receive Allegations Against Alan Jones
You can now add Alan Jones to both Bruce Lehrmann & Ben Roberts-Smith for dreadful stories that just won't go away.

UNE Launches School Leaver Campaign Via Engine Group
Is 2024 the year of the "brilliant new you"? This uni ad could resonate, as could a pack of Schwarzkopf hair dye.

Morgan Stanley: Retail Media Will Steal $1.1b From Aussie Media Owners
Work in traditional media? Had a really shit 2023? Feel the knife twist a little more with this latest ad spend data.

Yes, It’s Ronan Keating! Yes, It’s A Funny Christmas Beer Ad!
Yes, we're breaking B&T's editorial charter today as we overrule "rule four, chapter 13 - never let Ronan Keating sing."

Eagle Eye’s Jonathan Reeve On How Retail Marketers Can Use Technology To Transform Christmas
Hoping to squeeze that extra dollar out of your Christmas customer? Put the wring into the cha-ching with this news.

Gumtree Appoints G Squared To Drive Search
Gumtree appoints G Squared to drive search. And that's despite the "no hawkers or canvassers" sign on the front door.

“Maybe Stop Having More Kids With People You Just Met” – Tammy Hembrow Roasted By Followers After Announcing Engagement
Think the daily news cycle is slowing down pre-Christmas? Confirm it with this D-grade celeb rubbish.

New Business Wins For We Scout
Indie comms agency We Scout announces new business wins. Well, you'd hardly announce new business losses, would you?

Dentsu Forecasts 2024 Global Ad Spend To Grow By 4.6%
Latest dentsu report looks promising for global ad spends overall. It's looking far less promising for Alan Jones.

JOLT Partners With Polestar On New Campaign Debunking “Range Anxiety”
EV charging station JOLT unveils "range anxiety" campaign. Yet, nothing on EV owners boring everyone to death.

Zenith Wins Superloop’s Media
The Zenith Christmas party set to be a wholly more bawdy, jolly soirée after agency nabs end-of-year win.

Acast Total Payout To Podcasters Surpasses $30M
Yes, AI's been grabbing all the headlines over the past 12 months, but read on as podcasting says "hold my beer".

Doritos Champions Infamous Orange Dust In New Campaign Via VaynerMedia, TRIO & Mango Communications
There's three absolute givens at any B&T bash - the Jatz, the Dorito and the fruity lexia.

Alan Jones Threatens To Sue Nine Papers Over Indecent Assault Allegations
Why does B&T get the feeling that Alan might actually enjoy a stint in an all-male prison?

Adobe: Calming Rhythms, Nostalgia & Wonder & Joy Set To Dominate Creativity
Be first to read the Adobe Creative Trends 2024 Report here. And there's sparse news for fans of the knickerbocker.

Archibald Williams Wins NBA Digital, Activation & Fan Engagement Accounts For APAC
Independent brand and digital agency, Archibald Williams (AW) has been appointed to lead the NBA account across the APAC region. The NBA is one of the most prestigious sporting leagues in the world and basketball is one of the fastest-growing sports in Australia. Effective immediately, AW said it was “excited” to work across all digital, […]

Tennis Bad Boy Nick Kyrgios To Create New Athlete Content On OnlyFans
Tennis brat takes time off from embarrassing the nation to reveal new social media initiative.

Before Adland: The Media Store’s Sam Cousin’s Journey From Parisienne Nanny To Chief Strategy Officer
B&T's shining a light on industry folk prior to adland. Preference given to anyone purporting actual UFO abduction.

Thursday TV Ratings: Seven’s Big Bash Debuts To Sluggish 318K
The fact that it's December, meteorologically confirms summer is officially here. Cricket just gives it a nudge along.

Spotify CFO Walks As Problems Grow For Streaming Giant
Spotify CFO heads for the Spotify exits. Has requested "Don't You Forget About Me" as preferred leaving song.

TV Reporter Gives Withering Takedown After Being Fat Shamed Live On Air
Haven't yelled "you go, girl" for some time now? Clear the throat and ready the fist pumps with this overnight news.

BBC Presenter Left Red-Faced After Sticking Middle Finger Up LIVE-ON-AIR!
B&T warns this article contains gesticulations readers may find offensive. Yet, nothing you don't see driving every day.

QMS Champions Creativity As First Most Contagious APAC 2023 Sponsor
Leading digital outdoor company QMS has announced it is the first-ever inaugural partner for Most Contagious APAC, the landmark London event by creative and strategic intelligence company Contagious, which will be showcased in Australia on Tuesday, 12 December in Sydney and Wednesday, 13 December in Melbourne. Most Contagious is an event that delivers key advertising […]

OMG’s Annalect First To Get Meta’s Advanced Analytics
Omnicom’s data and analytics division Annalect has partnered with Meta, giving it access to Advanced Analytics (AA) – one of Meta’s privacy-focused measurement solutions – to provide Omnicom’s clients with future-proof, next-level measurement. Omnicom is the first holding company to have access to AA. AA allows advertisers to combine their first-party data with Meta’s ads […]

Foxtel Wins Exclusive Multi-Year Rights Extension With International Cricket Boards
Are you such a weird cricket tragic you even watch games when NOT played in Australia? Foxtel has exciting news for you.

News Corp Launches One-Off Taylor Swift Mag Ahead Of Aussie Tour
Thought we'd reached peak Tay Tay overload? News Corp declares "f@ck that" with a new print iteration.

It’s Quiz Time: Team B&T Got 100% – Can You?
Take B&T's Friday trivia, outrageously cheat, & go into the draw to win a $100 booze voucher! Alcohol & con artistry!

AKQA Launches Eco-Conscious AI DIY Assistant Encouraging People To Gift More Sustainably
WPP’s AKQA has launched Fixmas.gift, an environmentally conscious AI-powered DIY assistant, affectionately known as Fixie, for a one-stop solution for all things repair. Fixmas.gift hosts an array of guides and inspiration to empower people to prolong the lives of their belongings or purchase pre-owned items that need a little love and care. Fixie can: Help […]