B&T’s Cannes columnists – R/GA’s Kate Allan and Dane Van Veen (winners of News Corp 2016 Australian Young Lions) – have landed on the French Riveria for the annual Adland trophy fest also known as the Cannes Lions. And here’s the first of their guest columns as the duo navigate their way through the endless parties, Champagne and (often) bruised egos…
Cannes Young Lions: Day 1
Bonjour! This is Dane and Kate coming in hot from beautiful Cannes via the interwebs. We’re Australia’s Young Lions cyber team with the ultimate Gold Lion cyber dream. For the next 10 days we’re bringing you all the dirty details from La Croisette. In true Millennial style, we’re kicking things off with a listicle, inspired by 37.5 hours travel time and not a whole lot of sleep.
France and Australia are half a world apart and culture shock can be a real problem for first-time visitors, so it’s best to be prepared. They may sound alike but there are lots of differences between Cannes on the French Riviera and Cairns in Far North Queensland. Here are 20 that we’ve discovered so far.
- Cannes has a silent ‘s’.
- A flight to Cairns doesn’t require three stopovers and a big dose of Valium.
- In Cannes the locals speak a foreign language. In Cairns the locals sound like they’re speaking a foreign language.
- In Cannes you sip Rosé. In Cairns you skull XXXX Gold.
- In Cairns you can watch the sunrise over the Pacific Ocean. In Cannes you can watch it set over the French Riviera.
- Celebrities flock to Cannes for the international festivals of film and creativity. In Cairns, tourists turn up every year for the world’s largest Ukulele Festival.
- In Cannes you have to watch out for pickpockets. In Cairns you have to watch out for crocodiles.
- In Cannes you wear boat shoes. In Cairns you don’t wear shoes at all.
- Cairns coastline is abundant with native birdlife. Cannes coastline is abundant with budgie smugglers.
- In Cannes frog legs are a delicacy. In Cairns, they’re road kill.
- Men in Cannes cruise around in Ferraris. Men in Cairns do mainies in Utes.
- Croissants are the pastry of choice in Cannes. In Cairns, nothing satisfies hunger quite like the Chicko roll.
- In Cannes you party on a yacht. In Cairns you go whomping in a tinny.
- Cairns has the world’s most beautiful beaches. Cannes has the world’s most beautiful people on a pretty average beach.
- In Cairns you’ll never have a bad day. In Cannes you’ll never use the bidet.
- Cannes has great shopping, great restaurants and a great casino. Cairns has the Great Barrier Reef.
- In Cairns the wildlife will kill you. In Cannes the prices will kill you.
- In Cairns you eat a steak. In Cannes you dine on filet mignon.
- In Cannes you go ‘oui oui’. In Cairns you go wee wee.
- Cairns is full of frogs. Oh wait, so is Cannes 😉