“What’s That Useless Twat Doing There?” World Cup Podium Proves Politicised Shitshow!

The Women’s World Cup has been run and won (Spain defeating England 1-0 in last night’s final) and the event has proven a global success. Broadcaster Seven enjoying tremendous numbers, two million tickets sold and attendances up 600,000 on the previous Cup.

And it appears we had to wait until last night’s finale in Sydney for a bit of rancour and hatred among the event’s usual global show of solidarity and support of the women’s game.

Things weren’t always in the spirit of the game during last night’s final

Things got off to a bad start when Aussie pop sensation Tones & I took to the stage for the pre-match entertainment to perform a 15-minute set that included her global hit ‘Dance Monkey’. The singer – who’s reported to be worth $35 million – using the opportunity to once again remind the crowd that she once “lived in my car and played music in the street”.

Tones and I irritates the crowd last night

Fans were seemingly indifferent to the performance. One person tweeted: “The only thing worse than Spain vs England final is…Tones and I.”

Another added: “[FIFA boss] Gianni Infantino the worst decision you made was getting Tones and I instead of Ice Spice.” While another was far more scathing: “How does Tones and I keep getting away with absolutely zero genuine musical ability.”

Despite a fantastic finale played by the Lionesses and La Roja (the Red One) the presentation ceremony quickly deteriorated into rancour and scandal.

Revealed: strange bald man on stage last night in Aussie scarf revealed as Australia’s governor general, David Hurley

Australia was represented on stage by the prime minister Anthony Albanese and the King’s representative, governor general David Hurley, who couldn’t have looked more lost and out of place had they have tried.

Lioness Lucy Bronze snubs the FIFA boss

England player Lucy Bronze then refused to shake hands with FIFA boss Gianni Infantino who’d said in a 22-minute speech at FIFA’s Women’s Football Convention in Sydney last week that women in the audience had the power to “convince us men what we have to do” to change the sport.

Things on the podium soon took a further turn for the worse when Spanish football federation president Luis Rubiales began kissing Spanish players on the lips.

President of the Spanish Football Federation, Luis Rubiales, Kissed Jenni Hermoso, striker of Spain. Weird 😲#WHUCHE Enzo #Asake02Arena #SpainVsEngland Ward Prowse Mudryk pic.twitter.com/o0AHerreIS

— Olamide Not Baddo (@Iam_Olamide10) August 20, 2023

Spanish football federation president gets rather inappropriate with Spanish players

Vision of Rubiales grabbing the back of Spanish midfielder Jenni Hermoso’s head and kissing her smack on the lips during the post-match trophy ceremonies quickly sparked outrage. He was also seen lifting the 33-year-old off her feet during a bear hug.

Hermoso later said on Instagram that she “didn’t like it”. However, Rubiales defended it all as a “natural gesture of affection”.

“It was a totally spontaneous mutual gesture because of the immense joy that winning a World Cup brings,” said Hermoso, in comments passed to AFP by the Spanish federation.

Stealing the podium last night was Spain’s wonderfully stylish Queen Letizia and her daughter Leonor holding the Spanish flag. Her royal highness taking time to mingle and delight Spanish fans in the crowd.

But arguably the most venom was directed at England’s representative on stage, the conservative politician and foreign secretary James Cleverly, who was filling in for British PM Rishi Sunak and the Prince of Wales and FA president Prince William who said they were too busy to fly to Australia for the final.

British foreign secretary James Cleverly wanting to be anywhere but here

Cleverly was joined on stage by British MP Lucy Frazer, the secretary of state for digital, culture, media and sport.

However, England fans quickly showed their disdain for the unpopular Cleverly representing the country. Check out some of the glorious social media rage below:

Meanwhile, British PM Rishi Sunak – who was apparently too busy to attend the Sydney match – happily tweeted he was watching the game from a London pub and subsequently got respective noses out of joint. That’s Sunak in the white T-shirt with pint in hand, front centre.