The Buzzsaw, an online tool that strips the buzzwords out of press releases, speeches and blog posts, today announces its awards for the worst jargon of the last 12 months.
The Buzzsaw notes that ‘LinkLish’, a new language that has been gestating in users’ posts on LinkedIn for several years, risks destroying communication. A look at a random selection of posts on LinkedIn finds a growing frequency of the use of ‘visual narratives’ (pictures), ‘content orchestration’ (writing), ‘upskill’ (training) and ‘agile methodology’ (simple process). The Buzzsaw is compiled and maintained by Australian publicist Hamish Thompson.
The top 25 list (see below) is based on frequency of submissions from editors and correspondents worldwide.
Announcing the awards, he said: “This is the ‘golden age’ of corporate waffle. Thirteen years ago, I noticed a company describing itself as a ‘global leader in the adhesive labelling solutions sector’. Someone pointed out that it meant ‘we sell stickers’ and the Buzzsaw was born. The rise of LinkLish is a real threat to communication because it obscures meaning. If you write for a living, it might be time to pause your ‘upskilling of your content orchestration’ and get back to simple prose.”
Paste a press release or speech into the Buzzsaw and the document is checked against a database of thousands of buzzwords and clichés collected over the years. The document is returned with all matches struck through in red.
The Buzzsaw is used by thousands of organisations worldwide.
The 2022/23 Buzzsaw Hall of Shame (Comments below are supplied by judges).
- Polycrisis – “This means ‘lots of bad things happening at once.’ Worse still, it sounds like they are all wrapped in single-use plastic.”
- Interoperability – “Compatibility (best avoided in profiles on dating apps).”
- AI – “In happier times, this was a useful scrabble word meaning two-toed sloth. Now it means technology that will soon steal your job. ChatGPT has grabbed, and has probably written, a few headlines this year. Stand by for more.”
- Quiet quitting – “This, which means ‘doing the bare minimum’, is almost past its use by date due to the ‘global economic headwinds’. Expect it to be replaced by ‘quiet sitting’, which means ‘not drawing attention to yourself in the hope that you’ll manage to hold onto your job for the duration of the recession’.”
- Ideate – “This is an aggravating word for ‘thinking imaginatively’, but at a higher hourly rate.”
- Teachable moment – “An optimistic slant on a catastrophic error.”
- Disambiguate – “Its ninth year in the list: the lodestone of buzzwords, which means ‘simplify’.”
- Chunking – “This one sounds like it was dreamt up at a business lunch in a Salt Bae restaurant, or maybe in a gym. It means ‘grouping’.”
- Metaverse – “This means wearing unfashionable blackout goggles that look like your uncle’s cheap sunglasses to turn the world into a childish cartoon.”
- Immersive – “Inescapable, we think.”
- Wraparound services – “This means ‘locked in to one company’s products and service’. A bit like duct tape.”
- Tranche – “This means ‘section’ or ‘part’ but sounds much more complicated and expensive.”
- Change architect – “This is the sort of job title, which if used on a passport, will guarantee that you never get an upgrade. See also ‘serial entrepreneur’.”
- Learnings – “These are like lessons or failings, but they sound less negative. See also ‘misspoke’.”
- Trust boundary – “An IT security term that sounds like something out of Meet the Fockers.”
- “I want to double-click on” – “I’d like to focus on this topic and simultaneously demonstrate my basic tech skills.”
- Thanks – “A passive-aggressive email sign-off that means ‘this topic is closed’.”
- Reshape – “This is how to say ‘change’ in a way that makes it sound more like a fun pottery bonding session than sacking the HR department. Once it’s done, there’ll be no more fun pottery bonding sessions. See also ‘operational efficiencies’.”
- Interactions – “Talking, we guess, or maybe emailing – but more robotic.”
- Engaged – “A sci-fi sounding word that means doing something. So widely used these days that it pretty much means ‘awake’. Other sci-fi buzzwords include ‘execute’, ‘terminate’ and ‘hive mind’.”
- Content – “The emptiest buzzword of all time.”
- Influencer – “If self-styled, this person is best avoided and never trusted. If called an influencer by others, expect dead-eyed endorsements for the price of a house.”
- Serial entrepreneur – “Low attention span; possibly a fugitive.”
- C-Suite, B-Suite, D-Suite, A-Suite, etc – “They sound like odd furniture layouts, but they’re supposed to signify rank. Like all great buzzwords, they’re flawed. Suite has a ‘recliner rocker’ vibe. Perhaps they should say ‘rampart’.”
- Stakeholder – “I think this is a copywriter’s cry for help. The client is a vampire.”
