Last month, Ian Perrin, managing director of Speed, issued a call to the industry, via the pages of B&T, to rethink conversations around suicide. Adam Ferrier, co-founder of Thinkerbell, has become the first among adland to take the baton and talk about his experience with mental health.
Mental health is something I’ve professionally and personally been obsessed with since my early 20s. Prior to that I think I was the victim of poor mental health. Lucky for me my profession, being a psychologist, and personal interests were able to be combined, and I was the best patient I ever had—practicing with zeal everything I learned about how to have better mental health on myself.
In order to get an objective point of view of my success or failure as a student, I asked my family what they thought of my mental health and this is what they said:
My lovely wife Anna said; “It’s good, you’ve got really good cognitions. You find it easy to rationalise things or reframe things in a constructive way. Our kids are developing that skill too. However, sometimes you do tend to overly simplify things that you could be better off sitting with for a while.”
Asterix, my 12 year old son said; “It’s good, nothing seems to affect you, no matter how big it is. You seem very unstoppable. You seem like a peak alpha male. It’s hard to think of negatives, you’re one of the happiest people I know. In fact, you’re the happiest person I know. I haven’t seen you sad.”
However, my younger son Arturo who’s 7 brought me down to earth. When I asked him about my mental health he replied, “The only mental health thing about you is that you’re fat. You shouldn’t try and get diabetes, it’s not good. Ok seeya guys”, and he was gone!
I wanted to include my family in this article as mental health is very much an interconnected thing. We’re all entwined in it, and I’m as proud as fuck that I’ve put the work in and I’m able to be a pretty good influence to my family.
To me, putting the work in means hard core CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy), for years. In short capturing irrational or fucked thoughts when you have them and either distracting them, replacing them, or accepting them – letting them flow through you. Feelings are indeed like the weather, they pass. However, a little like enjoying the sun when it’s out, or appreciating a thunder storm rolling in, it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate how you’re feeling in the moment. As my mate Thatch, who’s also a psychologist says, “All feelings want, is to be felt”. I love that so much.
Perhaps the final, and most important thing I’d say on the subject is, I think all of this has worked for me, because of the hard time I had earlier in life. From there, expectations were low, and I’ve kept them low ever since, on purpose. With low expectations, everything becomes a bonus. As my mum said ‘As long as I didn’t end up addicted to drugs, or in prison she had done her job’, and I get it. In today’s insta social media, influencer, marketing, be leader, be authentic, be a crypto king with a lambo culture, it’s hard to feel like you’re winning. The solution is to keep your expectations low and you’ll surpass them. Gratitude arrives, as you become thankful for the smallest things. As you smash your low expectations, you’ll be able to look at yourself in awe at what you’ve achieved.
Life’s shit, accept that and a wonderful life, with good mental health is just around the corner!
Ian thanks for providing this forum, and for having the courage to talk about this stuff. As Leonard Cohen said so eloquently ‘There’s a crack in everything, it’s how the light gets in’.
