In the latest instalment of the Keep Talking series on B&T, Optus’ head of marketing Cam Luby, reflects on his journey with mental health, its effects on others and how he approaches every day.
If I’m sure of one thing, it’s that I’m not qualified to talk about mental health.
I’ve had a great run. Supportive family. Good childhood. No real trauma. Never taken a mental health day. I’m the guy who says things like “all good” and “no worries” — and mostly, I mean it. I’ve always assumed that mental health is not something that happens to me.
But here’s the tension I’ve come to recognise: even if mental health doesn’t “happen” to me, life’s definitely getting harder.
It’s not one dramatic event — it’s the slow accumulation of pressure. A pressure where the decisions I make and responsibilities I have affect more than just me. At work, it’s knowing that how I show up and the decisions I make affect team morale, culture, and someone else’s shot at progress. And at home, it’s being a dad, being present, being useful. It’s all meaningful, and I wouldn’t change it, but let’s not pretend it’s light.
I don’t have a fix or a heroic transformation story. But I do have something that helps me. A few years ago, a professional coach gave me a simple mental model that I use almost every day: you’re either above the line or below the line.
Above the line, you’re calm, clear and confident. You trust your instincts. You make good decisions. You’re a better partner, parent, colleague. Below the line? You’re reactive. Closed. Anxious. That’s when you say things or send things you regret.
The hard part is, most of us don’t realise we’ve slipped below the line until we’re well under it. I’ve been taught we all have our own unique tells, and I know what mine are. I fold my arms. I avoid eye contact. I shoot down new ideas — which isn’t great when you work in marketing. When I feel myself doing that, I’ve learned to pause and ask what’s really going on.
Sometimes it’s just a bad meeting. But sometimes it’s something bigger — pressure from home, stress from work, a build-up of things I haven’t dealt with. I’ve noticed in recent years how often I carry the weight of life into small moments at work. When I do that, life pressure can crash into the other small things, and that’s when pressure can really start to build up.
Being able to step back and separate what’s mine from what’s in front of me has made me better to work with, and better to be around. It also makes it easier to then talk about what’s really happening. And that’s where I’m lucky; I can talk to my wife, my dad and my mates. Nothing overly profound – just the ability to say “it’s hard at the moment because of xyz…”. I’ve found most people can relate, which is reassuring.
I don’t always stay above the line. But I know when I’ve dropped below it — and I know I don’t have to stay there alone.
