Michelle Sales (pictured below) is a speaker, trainer, facilitator and coach and the author of The Power of Real Confidence. In this guest post for B&T, Sales offers five top tips to improve your confidence and improve yourself…
You might call yourself the most confident person in the world, but there are still times when you’ll doubt yourself and question your own ability. It doesn’t matter if you’re applying for a new job or running a five kilometre sprint. You are human after all!
So what is it that triggers a confidence hit for you? There are five enemies that work against our confidence and affect our potential, no matter where we are or how good we are feeling in a given situation. Here’s how to deal with them.
Do you ever catch yourself saying things like, ‘This just isn’t good enough, I’ve got to re-work this before anyone can see it’, or ‘I won’t apply for a promotion yet because I’m not quite ready’? When you’re a perfectionist, you refuse to do things unless they are done ‘just right’, so you are guaranteed to win and to wow, without any chance of loss.
The trouble is that confidence is built on you accepting yourself and on you learning from mistakes along the way. So it’s only when you learn to let go and actually take action that you gain confidence, which breaks the cycle of perfectionism. You must acknowledge that you do and will stuff up. But ask yourself: What is the worst that could possibly happen? Chances are you’ll see it will never be as bad as you think.
Why is it that your performance isn’t as strong as someone else’s? Why did she get that job/boyfriend/free holiday? Why does he seem to be juggling kids, career and life more easily than you? Why? Why? Why?
When we make comparisons, we are actually comparing others’ glossy outsides to our scruffy insides. And what people present to the outside world is usually an edited version of their reality. What others do is outside of your control and you can’t change that. However, you can change the way you view yourself. If you have a need to compare, compare with yourself. Strive to be the best possible version of yourself, and make sure that you are continually learning and changing based on those lessons.
We often do not recognise the impact fear has on our confidence. We tell ourselves that we are anxious or stressed or worried about something, instead of using the words ‘I’m afraid’.
The things is that confidence is not about never feeling afraid or nervous or anxious. It is about not letting those feelings stop you. It’s often an irrational fear that’s holding us back – for example, we don’t ask for a pay rise in case the answer is a flat ‘no’. We don’t enter an event for fear we won’t measure up against the other participants. This irrational fear restricts us, and means we never venture far from our comfort zone. So, take a big-picture view instead.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, but do celebrate the small wins. And remember, at the end of the day, don’t ask; don’t get.
Overthinking and negative self-talk are two of the main culprits in destroying our confidence. We think about what was said last night, whether we did that right, and what the weather will be tomorrow. It’s important to pay attention to your self-talk before it spirals out of control. Notice when things are positive. What has helped you be upbeat? Also notice when they are negative or you’re overthinking things. What has led to that? Identify the triggers or elements that are contributing to the negative self-talk, and re-frame these thoughts to something more neutral or positive. A simple process is to identify three things you are grateful for today. You can ask this simple question at the dinner table with your family, or before leaving work for the day with your team. With consistent focus on this, over time you will start to notice the good things in your day.
- Overlooking role models
If you listen to the opinions of everyone and anyone around you, you’ll end up riding a confidence roller-coaster. You need to have positive role models whose opinions you value, and who will tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. Understand this feedback is constructive and motivated by their desire to help you to be successful. Positive role models can also see what feedback might be important to you in supporting your confidence and helping you to step up.
You need people around you who provide not only incentive and motivation, but also confidence and inspiration in terms of helping you believe you can actually become what you are trying to achieve.
A senior media commentator in the United States has been stood down, after masturbating on a Zoom call with colleagues. Jeffrey Toobin, who works as a legal commentator for both the New Yorker and CNN, made the transgression during a virtual election simulation with New Yorker staff. Toobin has since apologised for the incident, claiming he did not […]
Cellarbrations, part of Australian Liquor Marketers (ALM), has unveiled a new brand campaign via independent creative agency Channel T. The campaign features Paul the Cellarbrations owner and a couple Tom and Cass, who’ve recently moved into the area. Each episode in the series brings to life the evolving relationship Paul has with his customers, as […]
As part of Lions Live in June, Lions Live challenged under 30s with a brief in partnership with the World Food Programme. It was free to enter, and nearly 1,000 young adlanders entered. It was such a success, Lions Live plan to run a second competition during Lions Live this week. This time the brief […]
Seven must be loving the press SAS Australia is getting at the moment, but not that it’s necessarily translated to viewers for the oddball reality show. Last night’s second SAS outing posted 795,000 eyeballs according to OzTAM metro numbers, making it slightly down on Monday’s debut that had 834,000. In better news for Seven, SAS […]
US retailer Walmart surprised many when it launched Walmart Plus last month, a premium subscription service that gives members access to unlimited delivery and special deals. The move puts Walmart directly against Amazon, which has enjoyed enormous success through its Amazon Prime initiative in recent years. And while the US retail subscription market might be […]
Nick Emery’s misdemeanour that led to his abrupt sacking can finally be revealed. The London-based Mindshare global CEO was given his marching orders last Thursday after an incident that WPP described as “inappropriate and offensive” and “a clear breach of the company’s code of conduct”. And it appears the UK’s venerable The Sun newspaper has […]
HT&E today announces Angela Ewers has been appointed to the newly created position of Chief People Officer. Ewers will commence her new role in November, based in Sydney, where she will lead both HT&E and ARN’s People & Culture function to support growth and ensure ARN is not just Australia’s number one radio and digital audio business, but also […]
New research has revealed a major cut-back in Christmas spending, with Australians planning to spend less on gifts, food, and social events this season. The research out of market research firm Toluna also reveals 23 per cent of Australians are worried about being able to afford the Christmas season altogether. Australians are feeling the pinch, […]
Festival for business and creativity, Pause Fest, has confirmed the event will run in 2021 – and will be its biggest to date. The 11th Pause Fest – named Changes – will migrate from its Melbourne home to the online world for the first time, running 1-12 March 2021. “Pause Fest has always been at […]
Nine director of news and current affairs Darren Wick has been charged with drink-driving after he was caught driving over four times the legal alcohol limit following a work function Friday evening. As first reported on the SMH, Wick’s blood alcohol reading was more than .2. The legal limit is 0.05. Following the incident, Wick sent […]
Shutterstock today announced the highly anticipated addition of Editorial Video, a new premium, full-service editorial video offering that is now available for license. Critical Past, Celebrity Footage and Viral Hog are just a few of the new partners who will distribute their engaging video content worldwide through Shutterstock’s Editorial Video. In addition, current partners’ epa […]
Today at Adobe MAX, Adobe unveiled significant innovation across its Creative Cloud applications and services. In addition to ground-breaking new features like Neural Filters in Photoshop, the company released major updates to its flagship applications including Lightroom, Premiere Pro and Illustrator. Adobe also underscored its commitment to accelerating the development of mobile and multi-surface apps, with […]
The role a marketer plays in the success or failure of a brand has never been disputed. However, modern marketers are now taking on their biggest role yet – tasked with not only driving exceptional customer experiences but also business growth. In fact, a new report surveying more than 1,000 marketers across APAC from Salesforce […]
DrinkWise and Communications Agency 89 Degrees East has launched a new campaign called You Got This – an initiative designed to support Year 12s as they head into their final exams. The campaign involves well-known Australians offering short video messages of support for Year 12 students, including superstar Cate Blanchett, Australian Test Cricket Captain Tim […]
Cat litter brand, Breeders Choice, produced by FibreCycle, has made a bold move to get pet owners caring more about cats’ waste with a series of animated videos featuring a new tagline and a full marketing program. The “Choose Better, Choose Ginger” campaign launched this week via a unique collaboration of independent Melbourne agencies led […]
To mark a twenty-one year milestone the iconic Victorian ice cream brand, Timboon Fine Ice Cream, has revealed a modernised new look for their take home tubs. Tim Marwood, third generation farmer and founder of Timboon Fine Ice Cream, explains why the anniversary provoked the upgrade. “There’s not too many small family rural based ice […]
Just over half (51 per cent) of professionals who have been working remotely do not yet feel safe and happy to return to their co-located workplace, according to a survey of more than 3,000 working professionals by recruiting experts Hays. Of these, Western Australians are the most confident, with 73 per cent of those who […]
Bendigo TAFE and Kangan Institute have launched their latest advertising campaign titled, Our Heroes, which is a celebration of the role their students play in the community. “Within a few short years, our students are building our houses, nursing our sick, fixing our cars, caring for our children and pets, designing our clothes – all […]