It’s award season in the advertising and media world: B&T‘s 30 under 30 is just around the corner, entries for B&T’s Women in Media entries are now open and the Ministry of Sports Marketing Awards is coming up on 19th July. but a new kind of award show is in town. The Handys are the world’s first award creatives can give themselves within the comfort of their home or office space, where the ad world can ‘stroke their ego just the way you like it’.

“The Handys are the world’s first advertising award show where you can give yourself an award in the comfort of your studio apartment or at your desk within your agency’s open office. All without entering any work or sitting through someone else’s boring case study video.”

To be perfectly clear, in order to win a Handy Award you have to be a wanker. The more you wank, the bigger the award.

“It’s pretty clear award shows have gotten out of hand, so we wanted to take the piss out of them. But the Handys also signify how male-dominated advertising is. The fact that only 3 per cent of creative directors are women should be a wake-up call to everyone in the industry,” a Handys co-founder and self-proclaimed Lifetime Achievement Winner said in the Handys’ press release.

“Is the whole thing a bit crass? Sure. But lest we forget, we’re in a service industry. This stunt makes a salient point for us to spend more time focusing on our clients’ needs and less time servicing ourselves.”

“Just go to handyawards.org on your phone, shake it and voilà, award! The longer you shake, the more prestigious your Handy. For those with true ambition, really go to town and take home the coveted Best In Hand award.”

What a time to be alive.