Ranking The Touchdowns & Fumbles Of The 2022 Super Bowl Commercials

The Super Bowl has been and gone another year, and with it another generous serving of the world’s leading brands and the seeds of their creative quantum.

While us ad-chasers have already been treated to a fair share of teaser spots in the weeks leading up to the “Big Game”, it wasn’t until today’s (American) broadcast we were finally treated to the complete smorgasbord.

According to Forbes, to purchase a some 30-second spot from broadcaster, NBC cost a humble $US7.1 million ($A9.9 million), while Standard Media Index estimated this year’s total brands adspend to be upwards of $US428 million (think a humble $A601 million).

Despite the hefty production values and piles-upon-piles of celebrity cameos, not every 30 or 60-second spot was a winner, or, errr… touchdown.

Touchdowns

Zendaya Sells Seashells By The Sea Shore (Squarespace)

There’s no way this one wouldn’t have worked, especially with a stupidly talented cast including the red-hot Zendaya, legendary wordsmith Andre Benjamin (aka Andre 3000) and director Edgar Wright behind the camera.

Uber Don’t Eats (Uber Eats)

Deserving of more kudos than the resulting shock value from Gwyneth Paltrow eating a vagina-flavoured candle, this clever Uber “Don’t” Eats spot has been praised by viewers and Aussie adlanders.

“It was a brilliant continuation of the strategy,” said Thinkerbell founder and consumer psychologist, Adam Ferrier. “They seem to be establishing a really clear tone in all these ads that just feels right.”

Leo Burnett Sydney ECD, Andy Ferguson also agreed.

“Uber Eats genuinely made me laugh, by taking the piss out of itself and its celebrity cast, but also told me something useful about the brand. Well played,” he said.

Oh, and Nicholas Braun makes a delightfully fumbling appearance for all those Succession-heads needing another fix of Cousin Greg.

“EVil Is Back For Good” (General Motors)

Nostalgia is undoubtedly leveraged within an inch of its fleeting life every Super Bowl season. But given it’s been many moons since we last saw Dr Evil hatching a diabolical plan to his roundtable of minions (and snarky, Gen X son, Scott) who could resist his comeback all in the name of a not-so-evil cause; climate action and electric cars (all in the name of saving the world, and then ruling it, no less)?

As funny as General Motor’s Super Bowl offering is, pleasant throwbacks don’t always make an effective spot.

“It was funny and clever,” commented Ferrier. “But I was waiting for the connection to General Motors, and it just felt disconnected.”

“What’s Gotten Into Lindsay?” (Planet Fitness”

Another self-deprecating, throwback celebrity spot in this year’s Super Bowl commercials. That said, it’s charming nature and quick humour made it another widely loved addition among viewers, and particularly on-brand for the charmingly inoffensive and egalitarian ethos of Planet Fitness.

MediaCom CEO, Yaron Farizon, said it was one of his favourites among this year’s Super Bowl commercials, and praised it for being, “The right mix of brand, celebrity, execution, [and] sense of humour.”

“It’s one of those that will be noticed and talked about, because it’s just so right, for the brand and for her,” he added. “It’s self-deprecating, but it’s also quite funny.”

Floating QR Code (Coinbase)

American cryptocurrency exchange platform, Coinbase, dropped a doozy of a spot, overtly supplanting the perennial Big Game formula of celebrity cameos, big budgets and goofball humour with… a floating QR code.

As if the past two years weren’t enough to make the sight of a QR code unbearable, Coinbase has embraced the ubiquitous matrix barcode and used its 60-seconds of Super Bowl ad fame to show the code bouncing around a black screen (like the DVD logos of old) while soundtracked to frumpy muzak.

“Coinbase’s QR code was a masterclass in simplicity,” said Ferrier. “A moving QR code for the whole ad?!? It reminds me of a quote I once heard, ‘It’s not that others can’t do it, it’s that others can’t bring themselves to do it’.”

Fumbles

“Do It For The Phones” (T-Mobile)

Miley Cyrus does her best Dolly Parton tribute – with some “We Are The World” vibes – by showing Super Bowl viewers why T-Mobile is unmatched when it comes to 5G access across the States. But don’t leave it to B&T to tell you why this spot flops harder than a fish out of water. Just refer to our friend from Twitter below:

Mfw that dolly parton/miley cyrus commercial pic.twitter.com/HnxUL3tDEX

— 𝚗𝚘𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 (@rellortnocon) February 14, 2022

“Dream Homes With Anna Kendrick And Barbie” (Rocket Mortgage)

The mental gymnastics required to fathom how and why Hollywood actor, Anna Kendrick, teamed up with a doll (i.e. Barbie) to promote property mortgages is so demanding it strains the neural pathways. As though trying to purchase a property in 2022 wasn’t mind-numbing and frustrating enough, we now have the Pitch Perfect star here to explain the complicated process using small children and dolls. And just like the contemporary housing market, I still don’t get it.

“The New Frontier” (Salesforce)

Interstellar rocked, and so too did Matthew McConaughey’s performance in it. But his out-of-this-world Super Bowl spot Salesforce? Maybe not so much. The actor-turned-guru teams with the cloud-based software company for what should have been a shot at Big Tech, but which ultimately lacked some self-awareness.

“I thought it was interesting how Salesforce’s ad got hijacked by Meta, and everyone thought it was a piss-take against Meta,” commented Ferrier.

“Salesforce was [trying to take] the piss out of massive tech companies with massive budgets and CEOs with massive egos doing crazy things. And yet, what Salesforce just did was act like a massive tech company.” Whoops. 

“We Are Giants” (The Church of Scientology)