“Mums Will Get A Hoover!” Sex Toy Retailer Fumes As Mail Strike “Leaves Sex-Starved Brits Dildo-Less At Christmas”
[B&T warns this article contains adult themes that may offend some readers.] Brits may have to pleasure themselves with the King’s inaugural Christmas message this festive season amid claims a mail strike is effecting deliveries of sex toys around the country ahead of the annual Christmas rush.
Owner of adult pleasure company GetFruityCo.com, Adam Wright, told the UK’s Daily Star that his rabbits, dildos, intruders, beads and stimulators were piling up at post offices across the country with no mailmen to deliver them due to industrial action brought on by a pay dispute and demands for better working conditions.
Under the headline “Royal Mail strike leaves kinky sex-starved Brits dildo-less at Christmas”, Wright told the Daily Star: “To call it a balls up would be an understatement. Orders have been flying in since September and we’ve been running a 24/7 operation to get them out.
“We’ve done our best to make hay while the sun shines and get everything out as quickly as possible, but the strikes are really affecting my business through no fault of my own.
“We’re also providing an essential service in my view. Some people say sex is a human right and what gives people more pleasure than being able to climax?” he added.
“If it isn’t resolved pretty soon there will be hundreds if not thousands of sex-starved Brits this Christmas.
“That’s not really in keeping with the festive spirit.”
Now Britain’s Communications Workers Union (CWU), who represent the striking posties, have got hold of The Daily Star’s racy headline and tweeted it out alongside a one word apology “Sorry.”
The tweet has been liked 14,000 times with many others responding with similarly hilarious responses.
“Finally we’re talking about the big issues,” joked one.
“Thoughts and prayers,” said another.
Another questioned online shopping altogether: “Doesn’t anyone go to an actual shop anymore?”
“There are now going to be a lot of households where Mum only gets a new Hoover and a Tolberone and those are going to households that are going to have, at best, a historical bad Xmas,” moaned another.
The whole sordid affair reminded other Twitter users of Sunday Sports famous headline from January 2021 of a British lorry driver stuck in the French port of Calais with “10,000 sex arses” following bureaucratic wrangling following the UK’s exit from the European Union. Relive the tremendous headline below:
Latest News
Air New Zealand & Bastion Shine Save Christmas With Their Latest Campaign
When it comes to New Zealanders, are they really just glorified Tasmanians who are much better at sport?
Google To Pay $111m To News Publishers In Canada
Google lumped with latest $100 million-plus fine. Which, when it's all said & done, is like 50 cents to the rest of us.
Thursday TV Ratings: The Chase Takes The Crown For Entertainment
Much like navigating the single-malt whiskey menu at Rockpool, Thursday night TV proves a tricky one for network bosses.
Before Adland: Luke Spano’s High-Stakes Switch
The Avid Collective MD reveals his life pre-adland. As exciting as it is, it's not international playboy spy & Lothario.
New Study Busts Aussie Advertisers Over False “Clean, Green & Sustainable” Claims
Aussie adland in strife over some of its 'green' claims. By that we mean environmental claims, NOT fibrous vegetables.
Network 10’s Rod Prosser On TV Ratings: “One Measurement System Is Better For The Industry”
The only thing B&T would love more than a chat with Rod Prosser would be a game of squash. Yes, he's a 'yellow dot' man.
It’s Friday Quiz Time Again!
Take B&T's trivia quiz for your chance to win a $100 booze voucher and possible cirrhosis of a major internal organ.
Innocent Bystander Wines Challenge The Boring With New Campaign
As the Latins famously say "in vino veritas" or "in wine, there is truth". And, truthfully speaking, B&T hated this ad.
Apple Enlists Taika Waititi For Gorgeous (& Not Christmas) New Work!
Think the month leading into Christmas is all Curtis Stone's Christmas prawns? It's Apple to the rescue today, readers.
Clean Up Australia Unveils Brand Refresh Via uberbrand
Do you have "litterbug" on either your resume or LinkedIn profile? Change your trashy ways immediately on this news.
Musk: Advertisers “Go Fuck Yourselves”
B&T warns this article contains language readers may find offensive. And by that we don't mean Elon Musk.
Triple M Puts The Gold Back In The Gold Coast
The Gold Coast is Australia's "glitter strip". That is if you think bogans, bikies & personal trainers are "glitter".
SenateSHJ Launches New Trans-Tasman Practices
SenateSHJ has launched a new digital, data and insights capability designed to help clients tackle the growing complexity of communication challenges. SenateSHJ Digital, Data and Insights (DDI) will combine the firm’s existing Digital and Insights functions to create a Trans-Tasman capability focused on digital communication, and the generation and use of data to improve communication. […]
Nova Shakes Off Swift Mania With Dedicated Station
Want to make yourself the most despised person in the office? Read on with the launch of Taylor Swift radio.
QMS CEO John O’Neill On His Plans To Get OOH Spend Up To 20% (Watchout TV!)
B&T's chatting with outdoor supremo, QMS' John O’Neill. Eerily the outdoors never got mentioned in any small talk.
AANA’s New Code Means Stricter Rules Apply To Advertising To Children
There are now stricter ad rules applying to kids. Yet, nothing a bottle of Fanta & a box of Froot Loops can't fix.
New BrandStory Format From Bonzai Allows 3x More Ad Space on Mobile
Creative technology platform Bonzai has announced the launch of BrandStory – a new premium mobile ad format. BrandStory offers triple the ad space and 2.8 times greater time in view than single scroll ad formats, addressing the surging demand from brands worldwide for more real estate to drive real results by seamlessly intertwining awareness, exploration […]
“Cut The Crap!” Piers Morgan Sensationally Outs “Royal Racists” On His TV Show
The corgis, anyone in the Palace with a funny hat & even Camilla off the hook, as Piers delivers royal racist dirt.
Wednesday TV Ratings: 365,000 Sign Up To Watch The Last EVER Hot Seat on Nine
Mrs McGuire reportedly unhappy about Eddie loafing about the house after Nine cans Hot Seat.
B&T’s Search For Australia’s Greatest Ad Heads To Channel 7
B&T went through the looking glass this morning, with editor-in-chief David Hovenden (above) appearing on Channel 7’s The Morning Show to get the general public involved in our search for Australia’s Greatest Ad. Hovenden chatted with Kylie Gillies and stand-in host Matt Doran about what makes a great ad and showcasing some of our favourites […]
It’s The Best Of The Best – Directors Of First Impressions, Presented By Finecast, Part Of GroupM Nexus
They're the ones with the best hair and the whitest teeth! Yes, it's adland's top 10 directors of first impressions.
Opinion: The Tall Planner’s Kate Smither On The DBA Dilemma
The science is not in question – smarter people than I, with far more data, have codified it. The logic is not up for grabs…it makes sense that creating mental shortcuts to your brand keeps you at the top of your mind. Lead image: Kate Smither – Owner, The Tall Planner I wouldn’t even take […]
Ortto & Tall Bob Partner To Deliver Better SMS & MMS For Australian & NZ Businesses
Two Australian-born technology providers have joined forces to bring more power and choice to marketers in Australia and New Zealand with mobile messaging that is more local, cost-effective, and integrated. It’s a partnership that sees two Australian software companies come together to deliver a world-class mobile-first solution for marketers building data-driven, personalised, omnichannel campaigns. While […]
PubMatic Nabs Luke Smith From Seven West Media
Seven's Luke Smith quits for PubMatic. However, he's still in line for one of James Warburton's annual Christmas hams.
Slew Of New Hires At Snap Inc.
Snap Inc. has announced a number of new recruits. B&T unaware if it positively impacted SEEK's share price.
Michael McLacren Confirmed As Deb Knight Replacement For 2GB Afternoons
Think AM radio has a bit of an angry boys' club feel? It's not improving things with this news.
Reddit Gets Playful Brand Refresh
This will be of interest to any Reddit fans, graphic designers or lovers of an orange so bright it burns the retinas.
World Square Counts Down To Christmas With Sydney’s Biggest Advent Calendar
Hopefully this news will get you in the Christmas spirit. Either that or go and stand in Westfields for nine hours.
Zitcha & Broadsign Partner To Drive Global In-Store Retail Media Market
Zitcha and Broadsign have teamed up to integrate the Broadsign out-of-home (OOH) advertising platform with Zitcha’s retail media platform. The collaboration empowers retailers to maximise and monetise in-store digital display networks and enables advertising partners to easily view and book available in-store inventory and review campaign performance alongside the retailer’s other media channels. With the […]
B&T’s Search For Australia’s Greatest Ad Part 5!
B&T's vote for Australia's greatest-ever ad is much like the recent referendum sans the mudslinging and Kamahl.
Ignite the Thrill: National Drag Racing Championship Unleashes Media Campaign Via Murmur Group
If there's one sport in the world that's thumbing its nose at global emissions, it's probably drag racing.
Rethink Ink: Is It About Time You Reconsidered Print?
Print's not merely an excellent vehicle for brands, it's also perfect for getting the barbecue alight for the sausages.
Double Rainbouu & 7-Eleven Launch Exclusive Summer Fashion Label
Today, 7-Eleven has announced a one-of-a-kind collaboration with the popular Sydney-based anti-resort wear label Double Rainbouu. Dropping tomorrow, December 1, just in time for summer, this limited-edition capsule will infuse the fashion brand’s rebellious spirit with a distinctly iconic 7-Eleven flavour. The unisex collection features five must-have styles comprising two signature Hawaiian shirts, a peaked cap, a bucket hat […]
Cannes In Cairns Media Accreditation Open Now!
Work in media? Want to cover next year's Cannes In Cairns? There'll be no free piña coladas without this form.
In-House Agency Council Research Report: 78% Of Marketers Now Work With An In-House Agency
In-housing is definitely an industry hot button topic. Admittedly still a long way behind office affairs.
OMA Announces Winners Of The Q3 Creative Collection Competition
Who doesn't love the out of home medium? Apart from the very real chance of being shat on by a bird.