“Mums Will Get A Hoover!” Sex Toy Retailer Fumes As Mail Strike “Leaves Sex-Starved Brits Dildo-Less At Christmas”

“Mums Will Get A Hoover!” Sex Toy Retailer Fumes As Mail Strike “Leaves Sex-Starved Brits Dildo-Less At Christmas”

[B&T warns this article contains adult themes that may offend some readers.] Brits may have to pleasure themselves with the King’s inaugural Christmas message this festive season amid claims a mail strike is effecting deliveries of sex toys around the country ahead of the annual Christmas rush.

Owner of adult pleasure company GetFruityCo.com, Adam Wright, told the UK’s Daily Star that his rabbits, dildos, intruders, beads and stimulators were piling up at post offices across the country with no mailmen to deliver them due to industrial action brought on by a pay dispute and demands for better working conditions.

Under the headline “Royal Mail strike leaves kinky sex-starved Brits dildo-less at Christmas”, Wright told the Daily Star: “To call it a balls up would be an understatement. Orders have been flying in since September and we’ve been running a 24/7 operation to get them out.

“We’ve done our best to make hay while the sun shines and get everything out as quickly as possible, but the strikes are really affecting my business through no fault of my own.

“We’re also providing an essential service in my view. Some people say sex is a human right and what gives people more pleasure than being able to climax?” he added.

“If it isn’t resolved pretty soon there will be hundreds if not thousands of sex-starved Brits this Christmas.

“That’s not really in keeping with the festive spirit.”

Now Britain’s Communications Workers Union (CWU), who represent the striking posties, have got hold of The Daily Star’s racy headline and tweeted it out alongside a one word apology “Sorry.”

The tweet has been liked 14,000 times with many others responding with similarly hilarious responses.

“Finally we’re talking about the big issues,” joked one.

“Thoughts and prayers,” said another.

Another questioned online shopping altogether: “Doesn’t anyone go to an actual shop anymore?”

“There are now going to be a lot of households where Mum only gets a new Hoover and a Tolberone and those are going to households that are going to have, at best, a historical bad Xmas,” moaned another.

The whole sordid affair reminded other Twitter users of Sunday Sports famous headline from January 2021 of a British lorry driver stuck in the French port of Calais with “10,000 sex arses” following bureaucratic wrangling following the UK’s exit from the European Union. Relive the tremendous headline below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




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