Proving FIFA can’t get anything right at the moment, a film chronicling the Football Body’s 110 year history has bombed in the US markets, making just over $US900 since its release in the states on the 5th of June.

United Passions is a film chronicling the rise, and just the rise, of the FIFA federation. The film follows three association presidents: Jules Rimet (Gérard Depardieu) , Joao Havelange (Sam Neill), and Sepp Blatter (Tim Roth) as they navigate the choppy waters of having loads of money and being corrupt.

The film cost an estimated US$30 million and was largely funded by FIFA. The FIFA fluff piece made a grand total of $US607 on its opening weekend.

According to IMDB, the film made only nine dollars on its opening weekend in America at a movie theatre in Phoenix, Arizona. This means one lonely person sat in one lonely cinema to watch this shitty film.

The New York Times described it as, “’United Passions’ is one of the most unwatchable films in recent memory, a dishonest bit of corporate-suite sanitising that’s no good even for laughs.” The Guardian used the phrase: “cinematic excrement”.