Stop all the clocks. Cut off the telephone. Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.

Monday 12 January 2015 will go down in confectionery history as a bad day. A hurtful day.

The day when it was revealed that Cadbury’s Creme Eggs have changed for ever.

No longer shall the egg shell be made from delicious Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate. It will instead be made from disgusting, foul, vomit-inducing “standard cocoa mix chocolate”.

“It’s no longer Dairy Milk. It is similar, but not exactly Dairy Milk,” said a spokesman for Cadbury, which was bought by the US giant Kraft in 2010 and is now owned by Mondelez, with a flippancy almost as hard to stomach as this new, Frankenstein’s monster of an egg is bound to be.

The spokesman said the new chocolate had been tested on “consumers” – industry shorthand for “idiots”, clearly – and had been “found to be the best one for Creme Egg”.

He added: “The Creme Egg had never been called Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Creme Egg. We have never played on the fact that Dairy Milk was used.”

As true as that may be, it offers little consolation for fans of the original.

Read the full article here. Image via Groupon.

In fact, one woman has freaked out so much about the egg change she wrote a song about it.