B&T’s Imposter-in-Chief Chris Taylor Gives His Version Of Bluesfest Press Release

B&T’s Imposter-in-Chief Chris Taylor Gives His Version Of Bluesfest Press Release

After Bluesfest was roasted for its press release explaining its decision to remove Sticky Fingers from its lineup, B&T’s latest recruit and Imposter-in-Chief, Chris Taylor Writes his version.

ANOTHER STATEMENT FROM BLUESFEST 

Bluesfest is sad to announce that notorious strongman and President of Russia Vladimir Putin is to step off the Bluesfest lineup for 2023. 

Bluesfest cannot, sadly, continue to support Mr Putin, and we apologise to those artists, sponsors and grieving families of the dead who we involved in this matter through our mistaken belief that a totalitarian leader and warmonger was an appropriate fit for a music festival. 

The narrative that Mr Putin deserves to be cancelled, along with any supporters who have routinely poisoned enemies on his behalf, is difficult for Bluesfest to accept. Who have we become as artists when a portion of civil society and non-state media passes eternal judgment on a clinically diagnosed psychopath and murderer? 

We thank everyone who has contacted us and offered their support in this matter, especially other sadistic psychopaths who feel unwelcome in a society that refuses to support their violent rampages and barbaric war crimes. We also apologise to music fans who we understand had only bought tickets to Bluesfest to hear Mr Putin’s unique “tank-folk” sound. 

Vladimir Putin has done so many good deeds that have never been reported, such as building gulag-style housing for the disadvantaged, and introducing music programs for bears so they can sing nationalist anthems while Putin rides them bareback around the palace. 

We will now move on, put this behind us and continue to release tone-deaf press statements in the absence of an apology. For those that wish to know more, there is a carefully researched article in The Australian, a paper whose commitment to objectivity and balance is second only to Pravda. 

Vladimir Putin’s slot at Bluesfest will now be filled by R. Kelly, who we feel very certain will be an uncontroversial choice. 

Press statement translated from the original Russian by Chris Taylor, Imposter-in-Chief for B&T. 

 

The original statement




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