B&T’s Highly Accurate Astro Guide To Advertising

As the long-debunked ‘science’ of astrology seeps ever further into the collective consciousness a new metric is on the rise. The day is rapidly approaching when clients will demand to target audiences by their star sign. In preparation for this inevitability, B&T has created this handy guide so you can harness the heavens and hit ‘em right in the horoscope.

words: Harriet Jayne Morris

ARIES  

March 20th to April 21st 

These guys and girls fuck. They are, in fact, the underrated horndog of the Zodiac. Aries like to do what, when and whom they please. Part of the fire mob they are quick to temper and always ready to spar. If you want to go toe to toe with this horny ram your creative must be far from timid. Enter Honey Birdette. 

TAURUS  

April 20th to May 20th 

All of the earth brethren love to indulge in earthly delights but none more so than Taurus. Appeal to their favourite senses: namely eating and the sense of the soft couch on their caboose through some homely experiential. The free coffee, breakfast tacos and plush seating found at Bumble’s ‘Hive’ activation at 2019’s SXSW is a sure fire way to win over stubborn Taureans. 

GEMINI

May 21st To June 21st

Comedic cheerleader or silver-tongued psychopath? Every day is new with this charismatic chameleon. Lasso the attention of flaky Gemini with some longform copy. The Zodiac’s natural scuttlebutt; pop a cork in their incessant verbiage with some clever word play…like this cutesy homage to grammar by Penguin Books. 

CANCER  

June 21st to July 22nd

Any astro-aficionado will know of the recent tug-o-war over melancholy alt-pop icon Lana Del Rey. For many moons the Gemini clan clutched her to their fickle breasts until the crabby crooner herself admitted she was in fact a Cancer. Hence, to incite joy de vivre in any Cancerian simply do as Gucci and insert Lana Del Rey into your campaigns. Dreamy. 

LEO  

July 22nd to August 22nd

Go bold a la Paul Smith’s ‘Pink Wall’ of 2018. Outdoor is the natural choice for these most out there of extroverts. The beloved, charming and narcissistic Leo, these big-hearted performers love a stage even better if it’s painted PINK and can later be uploaded to the gram. Be wary as this campaign was famously marred with a scrawling ‘Go fuck your selfie’ – likely an enraged Scorpio out for blood.

VIRGO  

August 23rd to September 22nd

Virgos seek perfection with every waking breath so be a part of the solution for these manic over thinkers, not the problem. Spotify’s Wrapped campaign provides a concise value add to their jam-packed calendars and is a salve for the frenzied Virgo psyche, injured daily by their colleague’s relentless incompetence. 

LIBRA   

September 23rd to October 23rd

See how Snoop Dogg balances a lucrative rapping career and a robust marijuana habit? Such is the way of gentle Libra, one of the most amicable members of the Zodiac. Notoriously indecisive, take the guess work out for our Libran comrades with unambiguous creative that cuts straight to the heart like this whimsical offering from Lego. 

SCORPIO  

October 23rd to November 22nd

These freaky beings like to buff their big egos by manipulating and possessing everything around them. Appeal to their dark sexual appetites and dominating ways by looking back to the archives of ad land. You cannot get more Scorpio than Calvin Klein’s 1986 campaign for their iconic fragrance Obsession. 

SAGITTARIUS  

November 23rd to December 21st 

Sagittarians don’t take anything too seriously unlike Tourism Boards who usually do. Except Tourism Oregon, whose kooky 2019 anime campaign speaks directly to Saggy’s childlike wonder and disdain for the norm.  Keep it weird and wonderful for these sassy globetrotters.

CAPRICORN 

December 22nd to January 19th

Capricorns are the money hungry mac daddy’s of the Zodiac. Engage these classy hustlers with a big budget production; anything less and you will lose their lucrative brand loyalty forever. Grey Goose hit the nail on the head by partnering with luxury cinema chain Everyman, delivering a fully immersive cinema experience dripping with finesse. 

AQUARIUS 

January 20th to February 18th

When an Aquarian isn’t lambasting you over a single use coffee cup you’ll find them sniffing out the next great injustice. It’s probably something you haven’t even heard of, so when targeting these water bearing activists, you best come with your A game. Cosy up to a cause like Nike cosied up to Kaepernick in 2018. If you can risk your share price to be on the right side of history, Aquarians will fly your flag forever. 

PISCES  

February 19th to March 20th 

‘Creative crybaby’ essentially sums up the Pisces clan so make sure to add a dash of avant-garde and nostalgia when reeling in these fishy individuals. Apple’s incredible spot for Home Pod enlists the help of Spike Jonze, FKA twigs and Anderson Paak to take the viewer on a dreamlike journey out of the monotony of big city living. This type of whimsy is sure to capture our Pisces pals hook, line and sinker.