OMG! Soooo excited about our new creative model for the agency. It’s called “Creativity Up The Rear.” It was all my idea!
I was explaining to CEO the other evening at the Gowings Bar and Grill (we’d gone there for a quick steak and chips at lunchtime but we were still there when they threw us out at midnight) that the problem with our agency is that the creative director has to decide what work is good and what work is bad, which is obviously a totes flawed model. After all, how can one person be so intelligent? Or have enough time? And how can one person really know what it is the client wants if he hasn’t even been to any of the meetings? It just doesn’t make any sense.
At first CEO didn’t agree with me at all but during the profiteroles after the fourth bottle of chardy he began to see the sense of what I was saying. My new idea – which is sooooo revolutionary – is to turn the whole creative process on its head. What we do is we get the clients and the planners and the suits to get together in a room and come up with a cool idea before we even bother to write the brief. Then when we’ve cracked the ad, and the strap line and the promotional offer and all that jazz, we then write a brief that can only be answered by the solution we’ve already come up with! How cool is that?
Our old agency model was called “Creativity First” but we’ve ditched that and got a whole new “Creativity Up The Rear” logo for our website. It’s like the ultimate in efficiency and it means we don’t waste hours and hours trying to explain to the creatives what it is we want them to do. All they have to do is follow the pointers we’ve laid out in the brief until they reach the correct solution. Then we go ‘You beaut! That’s it!” And they’re like totes full of themselves coz they think they got there all by themselves! How hectic is that?!
It’s a bit like that random Vietnamese dude who lives opposite Mum in Yagoona who leaves bits of bread out in a line across the park so that the ducks follow it into his house and then he breaks their necks and sticks them in a pot and makes spring rolls out of them. Same idea.
Anyway, we’ve introduced the new creative model for the agency and everyone’s really excited about it and CEO reckons we can get heaps of PR in all the trade mags and do these hectic presos to all the feral pitch consultants and it’ll be like a whole new relaunch for the agency!
Needless to say ECD was against the whole idea from the beginning (just coz I thought of it first and he didn’t!) and so he’s resigned and gone to some lame old-fashioned agency where he can pretend to be God, but we’ve told all the junior creatives that stayed behind that under the new model it’s like they’re all creative directors in their own right and they’re soooo excited! We’ve already got three ultra-cool campaigns out and they’re exactly what the client wanted! Woo hoo!
I think I may have re-invented advertising! Hall of Fame here I come!
Inga Van Kyck works under the covers in a multi-national agency and is a regular B&T columnist.
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