Whatever you do don’t say “I’m reaching out to you” in an email to B&T regular Robert Strohfeldt. It’s the buzzword atop his list of most hated buzzwords. Here, he attempts to make sense of the other dire gobbledygook parading as legitimate corporate parlance in modern agencies these days…
Reaching Out: Doing a Rolf Harris/Projectile Vomiting.
Bespoke: What the bee said.
Engage: Step 2 in losing house (1: Dating 2: Engage 3: Marriage 4: Divorce)
Content: Happy, deceive a person and take their tent.
Insight: I can see you! Land ahoy!
Space: Room, Gap, Outer.
Post: Deaf as. Telephone. Lamp. Fence. Australia.
Omnichannel: Eats anything, not fussy
Scale: Weigh. Outside of fish.
Tech Stack: Crashed Tesla.
Programmatic: TV remote.
Real Time: Opposite to unreal time, not much fun.
Big Data: Idi Amin’s waist size.
Gigabyte: Mark left by male prostitute (not really a buzz word).
Algorithm: New form of techno-music.
Stakeholder: Butcher. Male cooking a BBQ.