The News Corp newspaper famous for its croc and UFO stories, NT News, has finally appointed a sole journalist to head up this very niche, very newsworthy category, and the coveted job has gone to Jill Poulsen.
The paper is renowned for having a cracking array of headlines and puns, including winners like ‘Why I stuck a cracker up my clacker’, ‘Horse in love with goat’ and ‘Best man left bleeding after being hit in head by flying dildo’.
And no, this is not a joke.
CONGRATULATIONS @jill_poulsen FOR BEING NAMED THE NT NEWS’ FIRST EVER CROC/UFO REPORTER. DON’T FARK IT UP. THE WORLD IS WATCHING.
— The NT News (@TheNTNews) July 4, 2016
Poulsen has got plenty of experience in the field, with Fairfax reporting she’s even witnessed a UFO in action.
“It wasn’t a plane, it was quite literally an unidentified flying object,” Poulsen said.
“Ever since then, I really believed that they were out there and that the truth is out there for us to find.”
Poulsen isn’t a stranger to breaking croc news either, penning lead stories like ‘”Indecent-a-saltie” about a man who put his testicles inside the jaws of a saltwater crocodile.
“I hope that one day I will get so in touch with my subjects that I will be able to swim with them,” Poulsen said.
Dreams do come true! ?? https://t.co/ZsfJsrtlTa
— Jill Poulsen (@jill_poulsen) July 4, 2016
Twitter fans naturally have a case of job jealousy:
— Dallas Baird (@TheDallasBaird) July 4, 2016
— Matt Hustwaite (@MattyHuss) July 4, 2016
what’s to fuck up? Most of the @TheNTNews stories are a croc anyway! ?
— Smokey Johansson (@smokeyjoh) July 4, 2016
— Samuel Mercer (@SamuelMercer) July 4, 2016