This is Jimmy Niggles.
His is a creation of Scott John Maggs, a freelance conceptual copywriter currently wielding his steely gaze and smouldering pipe for the most ambitious minds of Sydney. You may also know him as BMF’s #HipsterSanta, and as part of The Hot Potato team with the Republic of Everyone and Heckler who tackled Australia’s ignorance about the Asylum Seeker situation before last year’s election.
What made you decide to grow a beard?
My mate Wes Bonny (who you may recognise from the TV & Cinema ads) died from melanoma at the age of 26.
Because Wes’ melanoma was on his neck, and no-one really had beards back then, I decided to grow my beard to cover up and encourage everyone who asks about my beard to have their skin checked. Since then I’ve shared Wes’ story with thousands of people from all around the world, several of who may not be with us right now if it wasn’t for this ridiculous neck mane.
How long have you had it for?
This is usually the first question you’ll be asked while cultivating facial follicles. A bloke once told me to say “This long”, and do a measurement gesture at the base of my beard. Though because I’m not qualified for the whole ‘Dad joke’ thing I usually smile and say “Nearly three years”, then prepare for the next question, which is typically “Do you get food stuck in it?” or “Can I touch it?” – I have a specially designed T-shirt to answer the second one which you’ll soon be able to purchase from beardseason.com.au in partnership with BCNA.
Would you consider shaving it off?
Well I’ve always maintained I’d keep it until I’m happy it’s done its job. At this stage I can reveal plans are currently in motion to raise capital for BeardSeason.com.au (an invitation for gentlemen to grow their beard for winter and become an ambassador in the fight against melanoma) which may lead to it being shaved off and framed by a team of artists and taxidermists. Until then, definitely not.
What’s your favourite feature about your beard?
I love the underrated undertash. The upside-down mo bit under the bottom lip. It’s the slowest growing part of the beard and I believe the key to its conversational capacity. I once hypnotised a pirates parrot simply by reciting entire the Chinese alphabet backwards (which emphasises the undertash), curing him from a leg threatening case of Blabbermouth.
Least favourite feature?
I do not understand this question.
What’s your beard maintenance routine?
It doesn’t hurt to give it a good wash every now and then, especially after ruckus and revelry. Plus regular application of a good quality beard oil helps with strength and lustre.
An odd fact about yourself?
Every day I take a photo with someone else with a beard and record it on my blog thisisbeard.com. Someday I hope to turn this into a book ideal for reading on the porcelain throne, because unless there’s a urinal or a lemon tree way out back I’m an unashamed sitter.
Photo credit: Brock Elbank