If there’s one thing you can say about Nine’s A Current Affair it unearths some of Australia’s more colourful characters.
Be it dodgy dry cleaners, dog impersonators or the ubiquitous fake medical practitioner, Tracy and the ACA crew definitely have their finger on the pulse of the nation’s endless stream of wackos.
And on Wednesday night the show once again lived up to its reputation when it uncovered a chap by the name of “James” who lives in the apparently crime-riddled Melbourne suburb of Cranbourne. So worried about thefts and break-ins in the the area, the portly chap has taken to defending his patch with a pair of nunchakus.
And, wonderfully, for ACA viewers, James gave a full, on-air, demonstration of his flaying martial arts skills which, as you’ll discover below, amount to virtually nil.
Check out the “exclusive” action below where, it would have to be said, it’s James’ own testicles that appear to be the only ones in any significant threat of danger.
James told the current affairs program he needed to arm himself after someone allegedly stole one of his beloved puppies.
“I’m not necessarily going to kill them (if they break in)” he told ACA, “I will break their legs or something. I guarantee it.”
But arguably, James’ ninja display isn’t the most inept and hideous story run by ACA. That top honour still remains the legendary performance of “dog impersonator” Ray Graham from an episode back in 2010. Relive Ray’s magnificent canine performance below: