Sad News Indeed! B&T’s Quite Wonderful Emma Mackenzie’s Choofing Off!

Sadly, we must report some dire news indeed, and that’s B&T journalist extraordinaire, lover of god-awful 70s music, Adeladian (is that even a word?) and all-round generally wonderful human, Emma Mackenzie is leaving B&T – today!

Emma’s been a journo at B&T for nigh on three years and has developed into one of the industry’s most-loved, important, ethical and respected reporters.

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Emma’s calling it quits to do that thing all young people like to do – global travel, life experience and (hopefully) something sweaty and physical with a hot Brazilian guy called Mateo (apologies if any of Emma’s family are reading).

And Emma’s departure leaves a huge and indelible mark on the B&T office. Who now will play (and bore everybody else shitless) with Don McLean endlessly on the office stereo? Who now will think wearing a onsie that looks like a strawberry is acceptable office attire? Who will go to every imaginable after-work function only for the free food and endless supply of arancini balls? Who will come into the office every single morning and complain she almost threw-up on the 317 bus from Maroubra? Who will know all the passwords to B&T’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram accounts (because, sure as hell, nobody else does)?

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The news of Emma’s departure was palpable around the B&T office and her departure left many colleagues shocked and stunned.

B&T editor John Bastick said of Emma’s departure: “She’s got a far better computer than me and I’ve been eyeing it up for ages… now’s my chance!”

The B&T office cleaner added (in Portuguese): “Good riddance, I say. What’s with all those weird, stinky beans and cheeses she eats every day for lunch?”

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While David Hovenden, B&T’s editor in chief and CEO of The Misfits Media company said: “We hired Emma almost three years ago when she came to us as a young, enthusiastic work-experience kid. Emma’s blossomed into a brilliant writer/journalist, she’s incredibly well respected throughout the industry and, if I could add, you couldn’t meet a nicer, more decent, more honest, hard-working person if you tried. She’ll be sorely missed, but greatness beckons and who am I to stand in the way of beckoning greatness?

“I know I speak for all the B&T/Misfits team in wishing Emma every success for the future. Go forth and take on the world but know we’d happily have you back in a heartbeat,” Hovenden said.

Emma’s departure is set to be celebrated (and commiserated) with a prolonged knees-up amongst the ale houses of Surry Hills this Friday afternoon. The usual harassment claims are expected on Monday.

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